when u aint have ur phone for a long time and expect to come back to come back to hella notifications but remember u lame
if you can’t laugh during sex, you might not be doing it with the right person
This is my favorite Assassin’s Creed post ever
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck